In Montessori, we talk about toilet learning, not “training.” The focus is on independence,body awareness, and respect for the child’s pace.
Core Montessori Principles
● Readiness over age: We observe signs rather than follow a timeline.
● Preparation of the environment: The child should be able to do everything
independently.
● Freedom within limits: The adult sets up the structure; the child practices within it.
● No rewards or punishment: Internal motivation and mastery are the goal.
Typical Montessori Classroom Setup
● Step-stool for toilet and sink
● Low shelf with:
○ Underwear
○ Pants/shorts with elastic waist
● Stool for climbing and foot support
● Low sink with soap and towel
● Clear, calm routine (often toileting offered at regular intervals)
● Adults model and invite, never force
Signs of Readiness (What Montessorians Look For)
A toddler may be ready when several of these are present:
● Stays dry for 2+ hours
● Shows awareness of wet/dry or bowel movements
● Can walk, sit, and stand independently
● Can pull pants up/down with help
● Shows interest in the bathroom or watches others
● Can follow simple sequences (first/then)
Readiness often appears between 18 months and 3 years, but Montessori respects individual timing.
How to Implement Montessori Toilet Learning at Home
Step 1: Prepare the Environment. Set up before you expect success.
You’ll need
● Step Stool for feet (important for stability and access to the toilet)
● Easy-on/easy-off clothing
● Underwear (cloth is strongly preferred)
● Accessible wipes/toilet paper
● A laundry basket nearby (for accidents)
Everything should be reachable by the child.
Step 2: Introduce the Toilet Calmly
● Use simple, factual language:
○ “This is the toilet. Pee and poop go here.”
● Invite your child to sit:
○ “Would you like to try?”
● Let them sit clothed at first if needed.
● No pressure, no performance expectations.
Step 3: Establish a Predictable Routine. Consistency is more important than speed.
Common Montessori toileting times:
● Upon waking
● Before leaving the house
● After meals
● Before naps/bed
● Every 2–3 hours during the day
Use calm cues:
“It’s time to try the toilet.”
Avoid asking if they want to go—this creates power struggles.
It can be helpful to use a timer also but be sure to explain what it means when the timer goes off.
4. Building a Daily Routine (Example)
Morning
● Wake → toilet → dress in underwear
Daytime
● Toilet every 2–3 hours
● Toilet before transitions (outdoors, car, nap)
Accidents
● Stay neutral:
○ “Your pants are wet. Pee goes in the toilet.”
● Invite child to help:
○ Put clothes in laundry
○ Wipe body
○ Change clothes
No shame, no disappointment, no praise overload.
5. Remaining Consistent (The Hard Part)
What Helps
● Commit to underwear during waking hours once you start
● Limit diapers to sleep only (if needed)
● Keep language consistent across caregivers
● Expect accidents—they are part of learning
What Undermines Progress
● Going back and forth between diapers and underwear
● Rewards, stickers, or pressure
● Asking too many questions (“Do you need to go?”)
● Showing frustration or excitement
Montessori adults aim for calm confidence.
6. The Adult’s Role
Think of yourself as:
● Observer: Notice patterns and timing
● Guide: Offer routine and reminders
● Model: Demonstrate bathroom habits naturally
● Supporter: Help without taking over
The child’s role is to practice.
7. Common Montessori Mantras
● “The child will tell us when they are ready—through behavior.”
● “Independence is built, not demanded.”
● “Accidents are information.”
If you’d like, I can:
● Help you decide if your child is ready
● Create a custom routine based on your child’s age
● Troubleshoot resistance, withholding, or frequent accidents
● Adapt Montessori toileting for daycare or travel
Just tell me a bit about your child’s age and current situation.